2009-09-26

note: this is long winded
As a child I discovered a computer language called BASIC. The knowledge that I could command the computer to recreate the thoughts in my mind changed my perception of the world. Since then, I wanted to create virtual stuff, games mainly. I piddled around with Apple ][s (my favorite), Commodore 64s, Atari 8-bits, IBMs, Atari 2600 (I had the basic programming cartridge, thank you Mr. Warren Robinett), NES (Excitebike included customer track design), and even calculators whenever I could while growing up. Sometimes while standing in department stores where they were being demoed. I couldn't afford my own computer after all. My parents (both sets) were not likely to buy me one. Most of the time the schools I attended had some Apple ][s available for me to use (with or without permission). I confess that I used burglar tactics (entering but not breaking) on more than one occasion just to use a computer and leave without a trace. I finally did manage to buy my own Apple IIc only to have life circumstances take it away. Through it all I held onto a dream of being a successful videogame maker someday. But life happens, and so does gray hair. I delayed my dream because of circumstance and choice in favor of other priorities. I don't regret these for a moment. But, I realized at some point in my life that I was going nowhere and life was meaningless. It was not about my priorities, my dream, or the consequences of my choices. It was about who I was. Much to my surprise, I was saved by Jesus. At the time, Videogames were becoming, or already were, violent, sexual, crass, vile, and that is no place for a Christian, right? And so my dream died. But, life happens. I was encouraged by _some_ church leaders, _some_ fellow Christians, and by some lesser known facts about the gaming industry. My dream is alive again, as long as God wills it, because it is no longer mine. I may never personally be successful but its not really about me anymore. Truth, many Christians are horrified when I tell them I want to make videogames. I get the distinct impression that some of them want to slap their palm on my head and yell, "Be gone demon!" (even from Baptists, Lutherans, and Methodists). But others point me to the Bible and show where Jesus went amongst the sinners to perform His Job. He did not seal himself away in a building surrounded by only His most well-behaved followers. And it turns out that some of us (Christians) have been there all along. And there's even games by Christians promoting Jesus. http://www.uvlist.net/search?ftag=christian&sort=year&listed=50. I hope I'm not misunderstood. I have no intention of making games for the Christian market or about supposedly 'Christian subjects'. If any game I design ever becomes popular among Christian players, I will consider my dream a failure. I intend to make great games because I'm working for a great boss (Jesus). But, life happens. And I think I've avoided the main issue long enough. I don't yet have the skills or equipment to do a great job. I don't have the GPA for college. What I do have, is the opportunity to attend a trade school. It's reputation in the gaming industry is questionable. It won't be easy. It may not get me a job. But it will get me the skills. But, life happens. Since getting new final boss, I have come to look at everything from a different perspective. I've realized that Libre Software is the only Biblical model for all useful software. Not much call for that in the industry yet. I recognize there is art and opinion in the content of games that can be packaged separately from the code. Ironically, neither the Libre Software community nor the industry seem to be catching on to this. I wonder what shall I do with the skills I obtain? Get an industry job? What should I do when I'm asked to create games that are morally reprehensible to me?


Yes, many 'Christian games' suck. Probably for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that they are often made by well meaning but technically unequipped people who's primary concern is preaching the message instead of _presenting_ the message. Even a person's favorite meal does not look appetizing if served on garbage can lid.